It's not like I just woke up this way, but I have always thought to myself this isn't what I want but with my family pressure and the feeling like I "have no choice" overcomes me.
I don't know why but I have always felt like I can't go back, it's too late and what I want to do doesn't coincide with my 5 year plan.
I know, I know I sound crazy considering I am all for positivity, I guess I am just in this mood today, which I am going to force myself to snap out of before I go to training for my new job, doing what I studied to do.
8 hours later...
sorry for the delay, I had to go to training and you know what? I actually came out of there about 30min ago and I am so happy I went.
i also re-read the first part that I had written at 8:15am and thought I'd just leave it in...
I have realised my moods change as quickly as the weather here...
and the funny thing is some days I am so sure of myself and who I want to be and other days I could just cry all day about how lost I am in thought and what I want to do.
when I read the top half again I am realising that I have totally over analysed, over thought and used way too much energy thinking about things that are not even happening yet.
If anything I learnt today... it's O.K.
I am doing what I need to do right now.
I don't even know why, how or even when I got so lost in this crazy thinking, that "where do you see yourself in the next 10years?" kind of mind-set
like it matters?
I think sometimes our thoughts and feelings are sometimes so disjointed from reality...
Is it crazy that I need a constant reminder?
B
Sometimes...and I'm still learning this...you just have to know that you are where you are supposed to be. Also it's important to be able to just live and accept that you are LIMITLESS. There are a million resources and options available at this age and we're just curious beings. Follow your OWN bliss.
ReplyDelete