we could have had it all...

I thought I'd share with you an epic song which i have had consistently on repeat for the last few days,
I guess I have been so overwhelmed in the last month or so, I started a new job,
yeah I know so what? well its not my first job or my last, its full time and I still work at my previous two jobs, but for me those are outlets, easier I guess, places where I regain my sanity a little,
this new job requires me to be physically and mentally there at all times, at highest intensity and if I am not then the people I am trying to help out will not benefit as much from it,
it has been a life changing experience, I don't think I have stopped for to breathe just yet because I wanted it so badly and still do, I just think iv hit a point where ill burn out, or maybe I already have,
my fire has been to help, and I swear even the slightest doubt is overcome by my desire to make someone else's life better,
and yet I cannot fathom how or where can you draw the line to stop and just think about yourself for a second?
what you want,
putting yourself first doesn't come naturally for all of us and I guess thats why some of the healthiest people I know are also the most selfish,
it's not a bad thing, but I think I have realised the sad part of it all that you really need to be selfish sometimes no matter how much you want to be a selfless person, and it's the only then can we have it all...

apologies

im sorry its been so long, thoughtless doesn't even begin to describe my mind, but heres a song to describe it all...
hope this has made it easier

xo
b